Billie Besos

Wow, it has been a while since I blogged…

I journal regularly for myself, but it has felt like a lifetime since I last wrote anything for the public eye to consume.

Why now? I hear you say.

Well, as cliché as it may sound, there is no time like the present. I have found myself at a point in my life where I have the time to write again; I have a lot on my mind, so I believe that writing may help me to alleviate some of my thoughts.

What am I currently doing with my life?

I figured this could be a good place to start.

The last blog post I wrote was back in January 2023, and I had just done my first transatlantic crossing on a catamaran. Fast forward to over a year later, and I suppose a lot has changed, while also things haven’t changed that much. I’m not going to bore you with an in-depth description of the last year, but I will endeavor to summarise.

2023 wasn’t really my year. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. I feel like it wasn’t a year full of achievements for me, which is something that has strongly determined what is a ‘good year’ for me in the past. I am trying to change this perspective; that we always have to be achieving something in order to be progressing in life. However, it wasn’t a year without achievements either. I think it was a heavy year for a lot of people – there was a lot of outside noise with the events that were going on in the world; we can all give ourselves some grace.

For me personally, a highlight of 2023 was renovating a camper van with Josh. This experience was full of ups and downs; some notable downs being the expenses, not following the ‘correct’ legal route, and Josh and I falling out over various things (inevitable!). Some notable ups were seeing our conversion almost finished and better than we could have expected, being able to travel for a month in Portugal in our home on wheels (and with our doggie Bowie!), and the sense of achievement that came with all of the above.

Another highlight of 2023 was food. I took a cooking course in London in February, and then continued to self-teach throughout the year. I discovered a new passion for creating dishes and recipes, and this is something I am constantly trying to get better at! I am now lucky enough to also incorporate food into my profession; I have now started to cook onboard yachts, and have been gaining experience cooking at yoga retreats too!

The rest of 2023 still brought with it a chance for adventures; Josh and I started a new job on a boat which enabled me to spend time in the South of France, Italy, the UK, and Poland. However, this job didn’t work out for us in the way we had hoped. A lot of my 2023 plans revolved around this position, so it was an adjustment when we left this job at the beginning of this year. I think I am still processing/recuperating after this experience.

This is a brief summary, but this series of events has led me to where I am now. I left my last boat in early February and have been fortunate enough to have had time to myself since then to do, well, pretty much whatever I want. With that time comes immense freedom, but also a lot of doubt and time to overthink. Upon leaving the boat, I didn’t want to have zero plans and zero routine – I am not someone who functions well without routine! Therefore, something I had really wanted to do for a while was get into the wellness industry. With my passions for cooking, yoga, and well-being, I looked for volunteer/work positions in the field. I found a retreat centre near Barcelona, Spain. Barcelona is somewhere I have been interested in for a while and have visited a few times, so I liked the idea of getting the experience I wanted while also being close to a city I was excited to explore further.

I arrived at the retreat on 19th February, after celebrating my mum’s birthday in Barcelona the weekend before. This was something we had had in the diary for months, so it was perfect timing really to go off on my own from there. I was at the retreat centre for two weeks, mainly spending time working in the kitchen. I had envisaged arriving and feeling a sense of peace and tranquility (something I really needed after my time working on the boat), as well as being able to practise my cooking and yoga teaching. Of course, there were moments where I was able to relax, and get back into my yoga, journalling, and self-care practice, but unfortunately, I ended up being more like staff than a volunteer – some days I worked full days (even though a volunteer is only supposed to work 5 hours a day) and I felt like I was working full time all over again. While I was there, however, I was fortunate enough to make a lovely new friend who was moving to Barcelona at the beginning of March. It felt natural for me to come to the city with her when she moved here. She already had an apartment to rent, and I organised my own place.

Barcelona, being a place I have envisaged myself spending more time in the future, seemed like the place I should come to next. I didn’t come here with a strict plan, only the intention of staying for a few weeks and seeing what the city can offer me. While it is a little complex for me to just be on ‘holiday’ (I am such a doer, constantly researching, trying to better myself, learn new skills), I am trying to enjoy the city, learn more about its food, culture, and people, and do it all calmly and with an open mind. I came here with a bit of a list – I wanted to look at property here, have some foodie experiences; visiting markets, doing food tours etc., attend yoga classes to discover the best studios, and maybe do a course (I am looking to do more cooking/nutrition courses but have been struggling to find anything suitable/short term!). However, like many of us, I struggle to self-motivate. My first week was really just for discovery – I went to so many new places. This is now my second week, and I have struggled a little bit because everyone is working! I am not good at having no purpose, so I am trying to discover how I can make the most of this time and enjoy it without being hard on myself – I’m open to suggestions!

I have one week left here so I am trying to get out of my head, be creative and make the most of it. I am going to try to write more blogs/create more content while I am here to hold myself accountable.

Adios for now!

Besos xxx