Billie Besos

So I ummed and I aahed when I thought about what I wanted my next blog entry to be. I could have just decided to write about Costa Rican food (which is amazing by the way), but I decided that I wanted to do an honest post about how it can feel to be solo travelling. I know I’m not exactly solo travelling right now because I am surrounded by people, but I still feel that in a way I am, because I am completely autonomous, and able to make any decision I want to regardless of anyone else. It’s a strange feeling of both responsibilty and freedom.

I have entitled this post anxiety while travelling because I feel like it’s something which is extremely common, and pretty much every traveller is going to experience some kind of anxiety during their trip, it’s just inevitable. I am not a particularly anxious person in general. I mean I have my moments, but I’m the kind of person that always tries to be positive and rise above things. I’m the person that likes to think they help anxiety sufferers to overcome whatever they may be feeling. However, I admit that I have felt quite anxious ever since I set off on my solo adventure, even if it doesn’t always seem that way on the outside. It’s so easy to post pictures of things or to put on a front to people, everyone is guilty of it. I won’t deny that I have had mainly moments of pure happiness over the past ten days, and have been really open-minded about this whole adventure, but you can’t feel great one hundred percent of the time. My anxieties stem partly from the fact I am doing something for the first time, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to attain certain goals, but it’s also fear of the unknown. I’m so bad at feeling calm when I don’t even know what tomorrow holds, let alone what I’ll be doing in a week’s time. It’s a strange feeling, and quite hard to grasp for someone that likes organisation, and who has had pretty much their whole life mapped out up until this point. It’s hard to put into words exactly how I have felt the past few days, but I think I had somewhat of a realisation that I in fact have no cemented plans in my life. But I keep telling myself that this is OK and I am not actually the only one that may be experiencing this strange mix of emotions.

The camp I am staying at is full of amazing people who have so much to share, for which I am extremely grateful. This has meant that I’ve actually been able to speak to so many people that can relate to how I’m feeling. When I first arrived, some people told me that it’s a bit of an emotional rollercoaster staying in the camp, to which I responded ‘ha, how could you ever feel down living in a place like this?’. But now, I totally get them. You can be surrounded by people, in the most beautiful places, without a care in the world, yet you can still feel emotional, or stressed, or down, but that’s OK. It can feel like there is a constant pressure to be with people, and I know that I for one, am a major FOMO sufferer. For anyone that doesn’t know, FOMO stands for the Fear Of Missing Out. I am constantly wondering if by doing one thing, I could be missing out on doing something else. This is something that I am really trying to work on at the moment. It’s important to just enjoy the moment you’re in, and the people you’re with.

I have been so lucky to be able to speak to people that have similar anxieties to me, and who have reassured me that it’s completely normal to feel these emotions. I am learning that the most important thing is that it is ok to be unsure of where you may be headed, because everything will fall into place eventually.

Thanks for reading!